A curious fact about my life is my degree in Pharmaceutical Sciences from the University of São Paulo. It is a part of my story that I am proud of, yet at the same time, I fought so hard to divorce myself from it.

But looking back, it is nice to acknowledge how much I lived and experienced different things during that time. Seeing what a rich experience it was makes me happy.

One of the great moments of my undergrad was spending a year abroad through the Science without Borders program in Adelaide, Australia, which allowed me to add an extra semester of pathology to my schedule. 

The Orchestra of Inflammation

The study of disease, or pathology, focuses primarily on the different pathways through which the body activates inflammation. I still have my summary notebook to this day… PAMPs and DAMPs (pathogen-associated or damage-associated molecular patterns), chemokines, and cellular mediators — a meticulous orchestra happening inside your body to restore homeostasis.,that by definition is the self-regulating property of a system or organism that allows it to maintain its state of equilibrium.

Our bodies are so incredibly efficient at this resolution process that we can go our entire lives without even noticing it happening. However, one of the interesting characteristics of inflammation is that it tends to be a painful process: it is our body's way of telling us that something is out of balance.

If we cut our finger, we feel the pain so that we look at the wound and allow the recovery process to happen. Whenever possible, we make that process easier — for example, we clean the wound, remove any shards of glass, and apply pressure to stop the bleeding. 

Emotional Pain as a Messenger

This physical self-regulation works as a perfect metaphor for emotional pain. A broken heart, a disappointment, or shame do not use the same biological pathways, but the pain these feelings cause is also an invitation to be present with the stimulus that generated it. 

In the book "Maturidade Emocional" (Emotional Maturity),psychologist and speaker Frederico Mattos talks about how feelings and emotions always pass along important information about our internal world. Curiously, though, it is much easier to treat physical pain — a cut, an infection, a bruise — than emotional pain.

We have a tendency to let emotions infest our minds before looking at them pragmatically and, as my dad would say, "clear the area." 

The Brutal Honesty of Access Consciosness

Access Consciousness, the set of self-knowledge tools that has been changing my life since 2019, offers a provocative invitation: be willing to lie to everyone else, but never to yourself.

Sitting here, this phrase comes to mind with real force. It is less about how to behave around others and much more about looking inward. It means being willing to look at myself and evaluate what stories I am telling myself — what thoughts, feelings, and emotions are passing through my head that I am allowing to infest the space instead of looking at them and "clear the area"What lies am I buying into that act like a splinter in the wound, keeping the skin from healing?

Quitting with Purpose

I didn't quit my degree at USP, but I remember screaming at my dad at some point that I wanted to rip up my diploma because I felt I had wasted time doing something I didn't like. To my dad, I apologize for the rudeness; I lied. I remember almost nothing about pharmacology, but I enjoyed every single second of college: I met people, played sports, traveled, fell in love multiple times, and developed valuable skills. 

It was during college that I started therapy and my journey of self-discovery. I remember my very first sessions with Dr. Fabiana, where I reported feeling a deep sadness all the time, only to realize that what I was identifying as sadness was actually just tiredness. 

I didn’t quit pharmacy school, but I did quit my postgraduate specialization in acupuncture during the very first semester because I realized I was deathly afraid of needles. Can you imagine pursuing a career like that? Even so, that single semester allowed me to study the foundations of Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), which focuses on body balance long before a disease ever develops. TCM shows us that emotions alert us way before a physical collapse happens. 

It is interesting to observe that this collection of choices and restarts brought little pieces of me, teaching me, in different ways, how to be more honest with myself and to remember that you don't have to get sick to change.

It is possible to quit pain.

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11 June 2026